Endurance

What is the correct opposite of Vigor? Lethargy?

For me it is slogging through the mud. Moving along, but without a spring in my step.

The mud this week is DSHS paperwork for grandma, walking her dogs, trying to get a Christmas package off to my son in China, and trying to get all the sh..tuff that got dumped in my living room put away. The stuff is due to hospital runs, Thanksgiving at Dad’s, and life in general; I (we) get home tired and dump stuff down. I can never work up a sense of vim, vigor and vitality for dealing with this stuff.

In the midst of this past week of insanity, a friend sent me a note that was essentially a sermon about endurance. I think the point of the missive was to remonstrate me for leaving the parish I had attended and participated in with vigor for about 25 years. The problem was, and still is, that the place sucks the life out of me. Everything one gave was met with “give more”, sometimes they said “thank you” first, but mostly not. Most people recognize others efforts with a litany of reasons why they couldn’t spend 8 hours on a Saturday working on the grounds, giving or attending a class, planning an event…Some of those same people had no qualms about adding big, new projects; claiming that they would inspire people to be more involved…they never did. I love many of the people there, but now only go for funerals. When I walk through the door it still feels like a huge weight drops down onto my shoulders. The place will, or maybe won’t, muddle along as it has always done, and no amount of energy on the part of one person is going to make a difference. I don’t need that. Sorry, Dick.

I do have endurance, probably to a fault, but what I need in my life is some vigor, a spark of inspiration, hope for the future. It is hard to see that right now in the day-to-day. Even Christmas feels like one more thing to deal with. Fortunately we have what I expect to be  a supercallifragilistic (spelling? my spell checker doesn’t know this word) vacation planned for January. To get myself going this morning I started to pack.

How do you cope when life is dragging on you?

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