The weight of my worries

The Daily Post Prompt today is Massive. Weight is mass in a gravitational field, so, on the surface of the earth, massive means weighty. I was set to not get around to writing anything, which is my usual method. But as late evening sets in it occurred to me that maybe I could offer up one idea. I am not a clever poet like some who write a post or sometimes more a day, nor am I quick with words, if there is a poem in this day it could take me a long time to formulate it.

Today was absolutely lovely, sunny and, while it was chilly at first, warm.

I spent the afternoon at the nursing home. Waiting for things that never happened. When I arrived Grandma was asleep. Eventually she awoke. The meeting I went over for was one where she had confused things, and probably not answered the phone to the person letting her know what was going on. She’s been doing that, if not doing is doing. She has trouble hearing it and if it is the slightest bit out of reach she doesn’t answer. If she does answer she still doesn’t hear well and sometimes confuses the message. I have no way of knowing what happened for sure…except that no one came.

She has a very bad cough lately. It is hard to hear her go into one of the coughing fits; she is wheezing so badly that you wonder how she can breathe.

The meeting was to have been with a potential caregiver to be hired so she can return to her apartment. Watching her wheeze, knowing that if she were on her own trying to walk to the bathroom when a coughing fit hit her she could easily, I should say more easily than usually-which is pretty easily, lose her balance and fall. Both of the roommates she had while at the nursing home got around much more easily and with less assistance than she needs now, went home and have fallen again. While we waited I got a prayer request for a dear friend of mine who is Grandma’s age who fell and broke both a hip and a shoulder.

If there’s a right answer I sure don’t know it. I feel a deep silence. No guidance. No perky words of wisdom. Just waiting. Maybe she’ll get better. Maybe she won’t fall.

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